This ain't Conan the barbarian
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Published by kranbrooks
Video Transcription
Long ago, in the time of fire and steel, there rose a great champion, Conan the Barbarian.
Taken captive from his village while still a *****, he proved the axiom, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Slavery forged into an instrument of legendary strength, and was soon purchased to fight in the pits.
There, among the blood and sand, he rose to become a mighty champion.
Barbarian, the master wants you to breathe with this slate.
Too many head blows. You must be deaf.
Help me out here.
You must be blind too.
Or maybe you're just too skinny for him.
Get up!
You're free. Go!
Who knows why his master set him free?
Perhaps he was like a wild animal that had been caged too long.
Perhaps his master feared Conan would eventually figure out he could ****** everyone in the place.
Whatever the reason, so began a new chapter in the hero's life.
He headed south in search of adventure.
Unfortunately, he forgot to pack a lunch.
One of these people gonna learn.
Well, hello.
Whenever you're selling, I'll take two.
I've been traveling for days.
I need food and water.
Is that all?
I have something you can eat.
I have nothing to pay you.
I think we can work something out.
Oh, that feels so good.
Oh yes.
I need to eat this.
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