I want a Raise Too - Cory Chase
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Video Transcription
You know why I'm in here, right?
Cameron and I went out for drinks the other night.
And she told me that she got a raise.
Yes, she did.
She told me she got a raise.
And do you know how she got a raise?
She told me she got a raise by sticking her feet in your face and giving you a hand job.
So I thought to myself, "As a self, should I turn my boss in for sexual harassment?
Or do I do what Cameron did and give you a toe job or a hand job with my stinky ass feet in your face?"
So no, I don't give you a hand job.
So I get a raise.
Why not?
I have to get a raise.
Because then I can always turn you in for sexual harassment.
It depends on your performance.
Well, hopefully I'll be better than Cameron and I'll get even better raise.
I don't know.
She gave me all the details.
Okay.
Ugh.
This is nice and hard.
So, details.
Excuse me.
Um, details.
I want a $5 per hour raise.
Because this office doesn't have an elevator and you have to go up and down the stairs all the time.
I have to get pedicures, so the cost of the pedicure is $40.
And I've got to do it weekly instead of bi-weekly.
So you have to pay for that.
So I need an extra $5 per hour.
Um, all holidays that we work, every holiday, even those little ones, I'm just going to get my holiday pay.
Mm-hmm.
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